She’s back!

Long time no see.

I’ll admit. I’ve been a terrible blogger. Cheers to new beginnings.. in July! Anyways I’ve come to a major crossroads that I figured I would share in light of somebody relating. I am 20 years old. I have oscillated between wanting to go into music or fashion since early high school. The past two years, however, I “knew” I wanted to be in fashion. Little did I know…

For context, I have always love fashion. I grew up in and around the creative industry and, therefore, had the privilege of being exposed to all sorts of people and their personal styles. So, I started experimenting. This is not to say I can unabashedly look back at my middle-school/high-school outfits with confidence, but merely to say I’ve always leaned against the grain. I won the Best Dressed superlative senior year of high school - something I will never let die - and figuryed since I can dress myself so well and love it, it would be doing myself a disservice not to pursue it professionally.

So, I went to Boston University, to escape my insular hometown in California and live the city life… which didn’t last long. I made lifelong friendships but was not creatively stimulated (not to mention I fell victim to seasonal depression that seemed to linger beyond its season). Now I am in my summer before transferring to the University of Santa Barbara (UCSB). 

I have worked a few internships in music in years prior and I loved the spontaneity and adrenaline rush of it all. I thrive being on set, at concerts and shoots, being there for the magical moments of creation and fruition. This summer, however, I decided to take the fashion route. I accepted a PR internship and, to no avail, it was not for me. Why is fashion PR glamorized so much? Kudos to those who do it, but it is not for the creatively-wired. 

Henceforth the crossroads: do I even want to work in fashion? But what do I want to do? Music again? Or should I try photography? I ended up quitting my PR internship, sticking with a magazine internship which I love. I am exploring different creative avenues. It is tricky to articulate, even for me, but I know I want to create… I promise I can do great things… but what are those things? And that is the reason I am writing this. I am reminding myself that it’s ok not to know while simultaneously feeling in need of reassurance. 

But who knows… maybe this is what I want to do. This blog that I’m creating. 

Until next problem arises!